first ridiculous news of london: or the frustrating inability to celebrate a decent birthday

I have now been at my new london "home" for almost a month and I have to have another ridiculous birthday to remind myself of the fact I do actually want to keep up scribbling in here.

so what is so horrible? is it sleeping half the day? noone being around to share it with you because everyone is studying? (apart from yourself of course) or the alck of cake? of famliy? of presents or of the habitual friends I have sporadically seen the last few years? perhaps it is jsuzt the realisation that birthdays are not special days anymore. It seems as though few people really care, epecially not the people posting on your facebook wall, you have never, or perhaps once or twice talked to in your life. but every year I am hoping and sort of expecting my birthday to be speical not only to me and my parents, but aslo to my friends around me. but half never notice I even have a birthday and then are all surprized when I tell them in may (when they ask) it was my birthday in november. adn the other half are not in my near vicinity.

so what have I done today? I have slept long. treated myself with chocolate breakfast and lazed around bored the rest of the time. ok. david did cook me lunch, and I did get a bday card from my roommate grace and from amanda. and jsut now two little cakes from eva (thank you so much by the way) but the tristsesse still prevails. i dont know why. I think I am just not made for bcelebrating my birthday. and for getting ooold.