D-Day Eve musings..!

It’s nearly 2 pm as I write this. tomorrow by this time I will be starting the second IIT-JEE paper.

So what’s so daunting about IIT-JEE? Why the hype and so much hoopla. well, somewhere btw 400,000 and 500,000 write this exam fighting for the 5000 prestigious engineering seats that the IITs(Indian Institute of Technology(s)) have to offer. It’s not that any of the IITs are in the top 50 institutions in the world, but they are the most sought after in India. The entrance exam is, perhaps, one of the toughest in the world not only for the kind of questions asked but more so because only a very small percentage of aspirants actually get to realise their dreams.

The joint entrance exam (JEE) is a test of memory, skill, application, effective time management as well as endurance, stamina and determination to slog for two years, giving up on tempting distractions. The latter perhaps more important than the rest.

So, tomorrow’s the D-Day. The day when thousands of lively, bright students, who have beavered away in their burrows for the last two years, will throng to their centres to write the 6-hour paper for one last time (hopefully, ---- - one reattempt is possible).

My mind is strangely calm. The surface is still, hardly a wind. ‘Ruhe’ befor the ‘Sturm’, one might say. I hope not, though; I don’t want a gale tomorrow, it would blow everything in my mind away. Let the serenity remain. As the minute ticks by, memories flood my mind. These two years have been memorable – the hustle bustle, the tantrums, the hard work, the sacrifices, the flashes of laughter, the tears and the changes that have taken place to my attitude and my perception of things. I could have done a lot more, but theres always room for improvement. I do not regret that I chose this path, if at the end of it, I can bring happiness to those who have supported me along the way and to those who have expectations from me. I do not know yet, but I hope tomorrow I can accomplish what I set out to do.

I don’t why getting through this entrance exam is such a big deal for me. it would lead me to do engineering, which is not my career option anyway. Preparing for it involved sacrifices that were very hard to make. I think maybe what I really want is for my family, esp. my mother be proud of me; to see her eyes shining with pride when I make it through the toughest entrance exam. I want to have her believe in me and my goals and have confidence that I can deal with the big bad world alone. Of course, I may never reach the perfection she posseses or her grace of handling situations, but I will learn and I will do it in my own crude way. I have a very protective and caring mother, but like many other parents, I guess she too lives in a time warp where children never grow up. Getting through the JEE would require me to study the next four years in the hostel, where hopeflly I will learn to stand on my own feet. I’d hate to cower behind my mom all life and suddenly one day discover that I no longer have her to protect and guide me.

I walk in tomorrow to give the best I can, doing what I set out to do without concern about the results. I’m sure there are others out there too awaiting tomorrow and wondering what it will bring for them. Wishing all the best to all my other 499,999 fellow nerds… ;-)

hungry क्या ?

for urban privileged Indians these two words define the ‘cool’ pizza outlet and for the rest of the country it is nothing but a poignant reminder of a famished existence.

the two words – ‘Hungry Kya’ (Hungry in English and Kya in Hindi) would roughly translate to Are (You) Hungry. to me and the vast majority of the people I interact with, it would mean - lift up the phone, dial one of those repeating integer numbers, choose between extra cheese and extra spicy and wait edgily for the next half hour for the steaming pizzas (with free garlic bread that was on offer). But for the greater part of this country, it is the inspiration behind the everyday routine of drudgery for a less gratifying and less calorific meal.

a rather peculiar verity is that the bill from the pizza place is probably more than the total earnings of a BPL (Below Poverty line) family for a week. numbers are not important here; is the comparison between one pizza and several bowls of runny broth even justified?

I know enough people who indulge in this opulence over the weekends (or may be more often), but refuse to part with a coin at the traffic signal to one of the cripples or old women with beseeching eyes. of course.., i understand that we must help only those who help themselves and that we must not make people charity-dependant and the like…
Still, it just repels me that the richer fools have no qualms about donating their earnings to high-end pizza parlours (PP) whose edibles do nothing more than remove the weight off your purse and add it on your bulk. no offence to the PPs; they just happen to be the targets of my rage at the moment. this indictment holds good for any of the other eateries, which charge not for what they serve but for their trade name. (In my opinion, it’s plain pilfering.)
But it’s their business, and they too must survive, monstrously abetted in this grotesque mission by the more prosperous Indians.

nowhere in the world are the contrast and the divide between the rich and the poor as evident as it is in India. this country is made of a billion people, all largely alike, but contrasted by the bleak austerity of their hunger. The children of the same nation, the same blood flows through their veins, with the same fortitude and the same passion; but the hoi polloi wake up each morning weaker, spirits broken by hunger and callously stripped of a birthright.

we live in a world that is neither fair nor strives to be so. For most of us (I admit this holds good for me too), we are too absorbed in living our lives, that the subsistence of the destitute is hardly a matter of concern. Perhaps, I ought to give this matter a little more thought before I enter the pizza parlour the next time.

The Roach War

I know that it’s four days before D-Day (read IIT-JEE), but as usual I’m enthused to do something different. So I flipped through the pages of my sis’ school magazine. And voila, I read a very interesting fact (one that might need to be verified by Julia’s bio teacher), but nevertheless, here it is:

In the event of a nuclear disaster, the beast most likely to survive the horrific radiation would be …..(hear the drumbeats and the trumpets playing) THE COCKROACH.


http://www.twilightguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/roaches.jpg

For those of you who know less about this variety, I will share my new-found knowledge with you. According to the Webster’s Universal College Dictionary, roaches are any of numerous orthopterous insects of the family Blattidae, characterised by a flattened body (ugh..) , rapid movements and usually nocturnal habits.

For the past few days, my life has been interspersed with sightings of copious members of this species. Top 5 reasons for this:

5. It’s hot and humid and perfect climate for mating/thriving for these brutes.

4. I stay up till late night amassing knowledge from Halliday n Resnick, Morrison and Boyd and Messrs Thomas and Finney’s extensive book on calculus. So on my journeys to the kitchen to hydrate myself, I am more likely to step on one of the brutes at night than during the day.

3. They like the refuge of my room, due to the cosmic collection of the aforementioned books.

2. They like the refuge of my room due to traces of my ‘comfort’ food (aka chocolate, chocolate milk, coffee, cappuccino, espresso, latte – anything with cocoa or caffeine or both) on the floor. (My Mom‘s hypothesis, which was most likely the explanation till I discovered the next reason)

1. Due to the impending plausible nuclear war due to the energy/ego crisis, the roaches are breeding faster so that they have a good chance of taking over the world (with the mozzies – cos they need air coverage as well).

So duh! now I know why the roaches (and mozzies) have burgeoned the universe. Beware fellow Homo Sapiens for our untroubled and powerful days on this planet may well be terminated by THE BRUTE……!!!!!
So keep your bug-sprays handy and get ready for the War with The RoachWorld.

Sonnet #541

A tear here, a pearl glistens and a shadow falls across my heart
For it bled the night before, the night when we were apart.
I needed you; I wanted you to hold me close in your arms
But life got in the way and distanced our hearts.
Dreary visions haunt my dreams and numb my mind
For the days I have to spend alone, without you by my side.
Starting with a little desire, we soared through the heavens
Too swiftly maybe, for now I’ve tumbled into the abyss.

Yet, I dream again, of rainbows and sunshine and a fine ‘morrow,
But not squander my today with musings or illusions.
Now, I shall move on in life with reminiscences of yesterday
And of those fleeting moments of joy we stole and still cherish.
Against Fate, against Time, we shall embrace as one
For that twine between our spirits can never perish.


with love,
pragathi

the end, the beginning..

it’s over, ...finally. my all too important exams have ended
a feeling of joy and relief washed over me as i walked out of school today. but i just could not register the fact that it was less than two years ago that i had stood in front of the same institution attending the inauguration to mark the start of 11th. i think my thoughts were shared by the others as well, looking at the way all eyes gazed at the open school gates. the glee on our faces after the culmination of the exams was palpable. after all we were brave warriors who had walked through the murky valley of gloom and despair. with our indomitable spirit, we had overcome all odds and endured the harrowing days. ;)
ok, it wasn’t that bad. the papers were easy, easier than the previous years and my answers weren’t that bad. so life moves on now...
its summer and its hot and clammy in this part of the universe. but today we were endowed with a spell of rain and this has ensured that the temperature has fallen down to bearable levels; actually it has been a rather pleasant weather-not too hot and not too cold...no more, no less (like Henry, the penguin says in my sis’s cartoon). inspired by the precipitation we have received, I present my creative byte.

tasting the rain…

the raindrops green and blue,
fall on the roof, drop by drop.
they’re happy, they’re merry
they leap and hop
and skip and jump
till they are taken deep
Into the muddy brown mound.

soon sunshine dances on my face
as the new day calls to me,
a new hour, a new second…
and to making it last??
no, no! I want a new day everyday,
coz it’s boring if the sun only rose and set
and the merry clouds gave no rain.

my wings stretch far
and the wind sweeps through
i glide, I turn, I fly very far
through the vast expanse
of joyful sky, of that I’m sure.

little drops again envelope me
little drops of joy n hope.
the raindrops are still green and blue
with that fragrance, that freshness
it’s a new beginning to new joys.