the big unknown

Friday morning im flying to costa rica. I have no idea what to expect. I only know I will miss Jürgen a lot, I will have language and communication problems, and ... many mosquitos. I'm sort of scared

wish me luck!

goosebumps

thats the feeling Im getting everytime I listen to the famous ouverture dedicated to my namesake Julia/et. Of course I have seen the ballet before, it belongs to the classic ones, like the swan lake, that even non ballet frequenters happen to see. but I bumped into it again two weeks ago in Berlin. my cousin took me out (ad hoc) to perhaps the most amazing classical concert I was ever at. the season ending summerconcert, outside on a huge stage in the middle of the forrest, of the berlin philharmonic orchestra. theme: night of love.

The concert is arranged almost like a picnic. people bring food and drink. photo cameras, candles and sparkling candles (Wunderkerze). the atmosphere is summery, fun, casual and quite contrastive to the usual dry throught one gives to concerts. amazing setting for amazing music.

Most of all my favourite Tschaikowsky (spelling is german) piece, the 20 minute long ouverture preempting the condensed love tragedy of Romeo and his Juliet, was played right at the end, finishing a glorious programme of highlights such as dvorak, mussorsky etc. but topping them all.

I like classical music, especially for piano and usually the stuff for orchestra, and sometimes opera- but only live and with the acting. But this ouverture hit me like a steamboat. I was sitting there amazed, and am sitting there amazed right now while listening as I write. my heart and all of my inside feels like flying and jumping around, especially when the entire orchestra spirals up and up, crescendoing into the main theme.

so much better than most of the popular junk revolving around 5 notes and a repetitive pattern of 4 bars.

whoa what happened?

I got my IB grades. the good thing is I met my offer. the bad news is... whoah theyre bad! I was working at a level of 1,0 (german grades) the entire past two years, and now Im walking away with a 1,7?! whoa thats weird. I mean on the one side its weird, that EXACTLY Imperial is working. and nothing else, like something leading me there. On the other hand, I simply cannot believe the exams went so bad. Like I NEVER got those grades before. Oh well. Im in uni, and thats all that counts, and I can stick my personal pride elsewhere because, well I just gotta live with it.

Its in the middle of the night...again. I am in the near vicinity of berlin, in a small village, at my cousins place. and suddenly half my family is there. at least all my female cousins from my fathers side plus t´he kids of the two oldest.
so I spent my day, debating whether to clean noses and not go outside to play when its time to leave to go to the 10 minute away lake to swim. five little 2-6 year olds. four boys and a girl, three of them my godchildren, are heaps of work but heaps of fun. I was completely finished with the day and the world at 9 when we had finally gotten everybody in bed and to sleep. and now its again 5 hours later I spent chatting and eating and having tea and prosecco and a very nice evening with all the grown ups.
I just got a shower and now am realising I cant really piece a blog entry together but I tried.
need sleep.
the kids wake up at 5. and guess whos tomorrows babysitter... but I am enjoying it. it is very cute, and I always am happy that I have the mummy to turn to, who can handle everything once I got my overdose.
good night( or shall I say good moring...almost)

the blues they send to meet me won't defeat me..

I was in deep thought (well, deep FOR ME, wic is quite shallow actually) a few days back. I had been asked by a friend as to what was it that I really wanted to do in life? Which profession, what career and how do I envision myself when I am 30.
Well, I thought about it a lot. These are some of the things I have consistently wanted to do in my life.

-Travel widely and greatly
-Freelance writing – a travelogue???
-Make loads of money (mney can buy everything, including a little bit of happiness )
-Be content with the profession I choose - never would I make compromises just because I had to maintain the job I have got. There are loads of ways of making money
-Take my family on a world tour
-Save peoples lives/inspire a soul to achieve something in life – well, basically make a positive difference to somebody’s life
-BE HAPPY!!

Does any one single profession make this seem possible? I think some would tell that I am an aimless, peripatetic soul. But its just I have never thought about this, nor has any brilliant idea accompanied with a strong flash ever appeared to me. I am currently letting my life take its course, and like a meandering river I move forward. I don’t think I know enough about my own dreams to make a careless, reckless, impulsive final decision now.

IIT or not I have decided that curently my aim in life is going to be the last one, BE HAPPY!
Live life, have fun, don’t be afraid and be a little naughty at times.. starting from today … --specially pointing out to the naughty part :]

P.S. 1. Advice well taken, osmy in Germany..
P.S. 2.
noticed the trend in the posts
osmosis germany - a little philosophical
osmosis germny - dance/travel
osmosis india - rant/very occasional creative byte.

I am officially tired of ranting. No more for a while. MIss me!-!

salsa and bachata

even though I was feeling crap all of yesterday, I decided I did want to meet up with chris- a friend I know from dancing. He had helped me loads to prepare for my history exams, is great to talk to, and as I know of now, to dance with. so theproposition to go salsa dancing had hung around the air for a while now, and after a coffee, and me not wanting to go home quit yet, we decided to have a look at the 7 grad (7°C, but actually more like 70°) which has salsa dance evenings, with an initial introductory course. we came late, had missed the salsa and now had come halfway into a simple bachata choreo. after few steps (the speed of teaching is really quick, but porpably cuz they do the same things a few weeks after another) the girls rotated around the room. I got todance with old, young, nice, less nice, people looking exactly like the inter midlife crisis dance freak from shall we dance, some of them really could move well, others less so.

Bachata is a very sensual, sexy dance, slower than salsa. like all latin dances, hip movements are a must, but this dance is so close that it is a bit intimidating dancing it with a complete stranger that could be your father. I had never danced bachata before. but I got quite a few compliments, so I think i didnt do that badly. what I love about it, is that it is not as standardised as the competitive latin dances. it is not as edgy, no necessity of straight legs, no complicated technique (forgive my ingnorance if this is not the case). but you dance what you feel like. you move to the music and have fun.

at the beginning of the free dancing part of the evening, chris and I were rather intimidated when we saw the other people dance. like always, if you dont know how to dance the dance, it looks immensly complex at first, whereas in reallity it is really simple. but, knowing the basic step we tried and did our best. by the end of the evening I had remembered some of the figures we had used as a warm up and at the beginning of last year's choreo. and in the end just dancing was really good. I think I am addicted.

im out of it

Im out of school. I am slowly realising that I never have to see some of those people again. I never have to schlepp myself there to feel like a complete nerd because I get all jumpy if I dont study (or at least do something more than eat) in breaks. I never have to feel a complete loner, just because I want to do things nobody else wants to and then go do them by myself, before I give in and abandon the plan. I will no longer have to compromise with my class and pretend I had good friends, as in reality i didnt. well, not quite, I did get along well with some people, but now when the choice falls to whom I want to dedicate precious free time to, my finger moves my cellphone calling list more to the people I got to know outside of school.

The only person I saw outside of school till now- you wont believe it- is faye. because shes one of the few people where plans actually end up working out, without a lot of bickering and haggling and last minute cancelling and all that mess. I have been seeing, apart from my boyfriend, my cousins, friends from dancing and volleyball.

Now that the pressure to fit in has gone, I no longer wish to-I havent for quite a while. I have been in many ways different to the people in my class. I find it sad I didnt share more with many people, than just a teacher and a classroom, but this is a two way process. I can do as much as I want to if people cannot see behind the facade. I believe myself to be interresting, nice and fun - er...well in my own way. And maybe thats the one thing such a class has tought me. I dont need to fit in. I dont need to be best friends with everyone, nor do I have to be popular. What counts is that I have to be myself and believe in what I do and what I stand for.

maybe I dont believe in what I just wrote there myself - it is rather a bold thing to say, more like a goal fit for a lifetime, but I do hope I sell out a little less of myself than I did a few years ago. but this issue is now a thing of iss past. maybe I will feel just the same wherever I end up, but hey, the friends that can endure me in my most crazy ranting and studing times, that still call me after a "yeah next time I can go for a coffee is in 3 weeks", those are the friends that will stick, and those that really care. and if they are not from Iss so be it. cuz quality not quantity is what really counts.